My friend felt so sorry for alligators
that she wanted to die. Suicide —
death by croc. And she tore into me
about not wanting to come along.
She said that I had benefited just as
much as Lincoln and Irwin and the other
privileged few. I said I would attend but
not participate. Gonzo martyrdom.
She leapt up onto the pulpit besides
the enclosure, with a bat that’s never
seen a ball and a cigarette holder
that’s all no-smoke and mirrors.
exclaiming Pluto’s not a planet anymore.
Matthew A O’Shea is currently having his existential crisis in Scotland. He studies Philosophy and Theology at Glasgow University, which he believes isn’t helping. You can find him on Twitter and Instagram.