Left to my own devices,
I’d be coiled up on my favorite corner of the couch
from the time my son went to bed
til the scent of fresh coffee wafted my way.
Left to my own thoughts,
I’ll slash a slit in my consciousness
force feed it a stream of stimulation
til my inner voice is drowned.
Left to fend for myself,
I slip into the semi-feral state that
fits my nature like a well-worn glove
existing only for that which excites me.
I left to make myself the person
I’d always pretended to be.
Convinced a change of scenery
would change who I am.
Like a ghost left to cycle
through their final violent breaths
who learned their history and are doomed to repeat it
I always come back to haunt me.
Allison DeDecker is currently based in Yuma, AZ. She draws inspiration from day to day life, current events, and the natural world. Her work has been published in the Colorado Crossing Literary Journal and is forthcoming in Pile Press. She can be found on Instagram.